Nina Calub

Joyfully living life under the grace of God

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Last 5 months

as a teenager! It feels so unreal. It feels like I was just starting high school yesterday, and in a few days I’ll be a Sophomore in College! Is this real life? I really wish time would slow down… If i were to pause life, I would like to pause it during my college years. Yes, it’s tough, it’s challenging with all the transitions that I’ve faced these past years. But there are so much room for growth.. So much to discover, to explore and to learn. Not just in life but in Christ. I’ve honestly been experiencing so much of God’s grace these past year, He’s taught me to so much of His holy nature and my sinful nature. 

Trying to think of ways I can savor my last months as a teenager before I hit my 20’s. Lord, may Your will be done. Show me Your glory. Help me have a bigger picture of You and smaller picture of me. 

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Summer 2014

These past months, (or should I say year), has been a crazy roller coaster for me. And you can imagine this.. I hate roller coasters and I had to use that Analogy. I say crazy because God has let me experience things I would have never thought I would.. 

There’s so much battle in my head and my heart. So much battling for my attention, my affection and my all. I can name it all, but my list would go on. 

There are circumstances that I had to make big crazy decisions that has changed my life forever. Decisions that has changed my relationship with the people I love. Circumstances that was out of my control. 

These things have taught me more than sitting at church, or sitting at a Bible study. God has taught me to cling in to Him because at the end of it all, all i have is Him. God has taughtt me the cost of following Him. It is not easy, but it is worth it. 

On the other hand, God has also provided for me tremendously. God has blessed me with a job I love. God has blessed me with Education. God has blessed me with a family and most importantly, God has blessed me more and more love, more grace, more mercy each and everyday through His Son, Christ. 

It has been such a joyful roller coaster ride, with the best roller coaster buddy, Jesus Christ, Himself. 

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Slow days

I just love days where I don’t have to rush. I mean, I rarely get days like these but I definitely enjoy every minute of my days off work and my break from school. So much freedom to just enjoy the sweetness of Christ. Just appreciate my surroundings and His blessings towards me. So grateful for the greatest blessing of all, which is the Cross. I don’t know where we’d all be without it. The Cross is the reason why we have hope that one day, we will see Him face to face. Until then, we have a mission to go and make disciples!

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Beach Dates

Had the time of my life at the beach yesterday! It was amazing. I wish I could do that every morning but once a month would be fine for now. I love the sound of the waves, the wind brushing through my face, the sand in my toes, the fresh air and just the peace it brings. I love it even more when I talk to my Savior. Such a sweet time pouring out my burdens, my cares, my blessings, my everything at the feet of the Cross. Thankful for such intimate dates like these with the Lord. 

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Unstoppable

I want to be unstoppable. Not during when things are going my way. But when things are chaotic. Unstoppable in the midst of persecution, opposition and trials. Help me to never give up Lord. To keep on going and not slow down because I know the enemy wants to use these times to discourage me and slow me down. God, I have a mission and I want to be unstoppable. 

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My Prayer

My prayer is this.. 

That I would genuinely desire and long for Jesus Christ, alone. I would pursue Him and only Him. This world is distracting. This world is so deceitful. My heart is so deceitful. That is why I put my trust in Jesus. 

I want to be completely sold out for Christ. My time, my resources, my talents, my everything for Jesus, alone. He deserves everything anyways! 

God, forgive me for in this life, I have been distracted in many ways. I have been desiring and seeking after other things. God, change my heart. I want You, alone. 

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My desires

Lord, I know that You put desires in my heart according to Your will. But at the same time, my heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it? Praying that my heart and my desires are aligned to Yours Lord. I want to have a pure heart, an undivided heart that seeks after you. My desire is that I would be a woman after Your heart. 

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Attacks of the enemy

We all have an enemy. Even in the Christian life, we have an enemy ready to attack, to discourage, to lie, to steal and to destroy. It may not be a person(s), but it is the devil, himself. 

Lately, this past year, I have just been experiencing the attack of the enemy. The Bible says to be watchful and put on the whole armor of God so I may stand against the enemy. This emeny seems to be attacking me in every side, my thoughts, my heart, my desires, my family, my work, my school, my mind, just about everything. 

However, the promise that I cling to is that greater is He who is in me, than he, that is in the world. Wow. What a promising assurance. I don’t have to fear any longer. 

Praising God that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that He fights my battles. He is in my side. Thank you Jesus for the wonderful Cross!

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Rejoice in the midst of pain

God faithfully reminds me of His love… God rebuked me today. Through this season of trial I am in, I feel as if I am just waiting for it to end… so that then, I can rejoice. I feel like I’m just waiting it out. And that’s not right. What if it doesn’t end? What if this situation gives God glory? Then God spoke to me and said that I rejoice now. I rejoice in the midst of pain because He is with me. I rejoice because He is carrying me through it all. 

I do not have to wait it out.. or else I will just be miserable. I rejoice for what Christ Jesus has done for me. 

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Straight from my heart

There is power in the name of Jesus. Yes, indeed. Lately, I just feel as if my life has been controlled in fear. Fear of surrendering it all to Jesus. Fear of not understanding what is going on with my life. Fear of losing my life for His sake. Just driven with extreme fear. 

God revealed this to me today. I prayed and prayed and asked Him to please take this fear away from me, for it is not from Him. I keep reciting “Perfect love cast out fear” while I don’t really fully believe it. I prayed and asked that God would change my heart… that He would show me how much He’s worth. That I would live fearlessly. 

These past months (this whole year actually), I have never felt so attacked by the enemy, I have never had to face so much struggles, opposition before. However, I also have never ever in my life have felt this peace that surpasses all understanding, knowing that I am in God’s WIll. 

Lord, prepare me from what’s to come. Lord, in the midst of all of these I pray that my soul would scream “Jesus is enough”. God, I know You have a plan for my life and I know that I don’t have to fear the future for You are already there. God, help me to desire you. Help me to focus my eyes on You. Help me to trust in You completely that You will keep Your promises. 

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Peace

It comes from knowing that you are doing exactly what God wants you to do in the midst of chaos, rejection, and persecution. This peace I have found in Christ Jesus, alone. 

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Authenticity

It’s something that our generation needs. It’s something that I need. With a world so consumed with social media, television, and magazines, everything revolves around building one’s reputation. We live behind our computer screens, behind our edited facebook statuses and our filtered instagram pictures. It seems as if we just live to please each other or get above another. What a corrupt world we live in! Life was not meant to be like this, folks. God has intended life to be an experience. God has made us and this world, for vulnerability.. especially towards Him. Now I start to wonder, maybe, just maybe, that is why it is hard for us to be completely authentic and vulnerable towards God. Although He knows all things and we cannot hide anything from Him anyways, it seems that we don’t enjoy this transparency with Him. I love how God sees through our outward appearance and looks straight to our hearts. He, the Great Being, sees our mistakes, our flaws, sins and imperfections and says “I am in love with you…” What better love can compare to this?